Dissatisfaction is Ensuing

“It is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognize, accept, and celebrate those differences.“ ~ Audre Lorde


Everything starts to mesh together. I can’t tell what is making me feel like what. If didn’t give a crap as to “why” so much, it wouldn’t really matter.

But here I am; dissatisfaction is ensuing. It’s not as hard to explain to others why this feeling exists. It is difficult, however, to accept the reality that they don’t really and truly get it. How do I know? I can see it in their eyes. I can see it in their body language. I can see it in their actual language. It’s written all over them.

I’ve been back in the US now for almost nine years. It’s been about seven that my strings have been cut from going back “home”; going back overseas on a regular basis.
And I’m becoming someone that I never thought I would be come. It’s not bitterness. No. I accept that I’m bitter and I’ll openly admit that to anyone. The truth is, I’m becoming judgmental and intolerant of the people around me. I NEVER thought I would see the day when I would become so angry and full of hatred towards those that don’t know any better.

I always tried to be understanding of people’s backgrounds. I always tried to be understanding of differences. I still accept a large majority of differences in diverse people, but I’m losing that ability to be flexible with people that look like me. People who are American like me. Perhaps I’m deflecting the actions others have shown. Or perhaps I’m so sick and tired of not being understood that now the pendulum has swung so far the other direction.

In relationships, it’s said that you cannot change another person. You only have control over you – your thoughts – your actions. So why must I constantly struggle with not feeling accepted amongst my own people. I say I’m full of anger and hatred for people that don’t “know better,” but I feel that people SHOULD know better!
Our world is becoming more globalized every single day. We can only hide our faces from the reality of this for so long. We live on one planet. We share the same space. We share the same air. No, we don’t all share the same language or same foods. No, we don’t have the same customs or traditions. But we are all human. We share the commonalities of what humans feel. We love. We hurt. We need. We know joy. We know sorrow. We know family. There are some things that make us similar! As the quote states below,though, we must learn to respect each others differences.


“In the end we are all separate: our stories, no matter how similar, come to a fork and diverge. We are drawn to each other because of our similarities, but it is our differences we must learn to respect.” ~ Confucius